Who cares?

catherine jacobs 2“Never believe that a few caring people can’t change the world. For, indeed, that’s all who ever have.” ~ Margaret Mead

The world is so chaotic. Depression, suicide, and addictions are increasing world-wide at a rapid rate. It shows that people are hurting and feel alone with their pain. But why care?

Because even if you feel you can’t change the earth, you may be able to change somebody’s world.

“Let my soul smile through my heart and my heart smile through my eyes, that I may scatter rich smiles in sad hearts.” ~ Paramahansa Yogananda

No matter how small your gesture, it can make a difference to someone. A smile costs nothing but it may just brighten someone’s day. A sympathetic ear can help someone feel that they are not alone with their problem. An offer of help may give someone an extra boost to achieve their dream.

It’s not important how you show you care, as long as you do. For when you do, you initiate a chain of kindness that is passed on to others and it is this collective caring that helps to change the world.

Sometimes though it isn’t the lack of care that is the concern, it is the ability to receive it that is difficult. If you’ve experienced rejection you can be left with a lack of trust that forms a barrier to accepting any level affection.

I went through many years convincing myself that I didn’t want anyone to care for me out of pure fear that I would attach to their love only to have it ripped away from me. And even believing that someone would want to care was improbable. How could anyone care about me when my own mother had physically abandoned me and mentally killed me off in her mind?

Yet I did need someone to care. I needed it desperately. Whilst I was too terrified to take the risk to reach out, it was impossible for anyone to reach in. The combination of depression and alcoholism constructed an emotional barricade that was impenetrable.

“The walls that you build as a safeguard are the same walls that will in turn isolate and imprison.” ~ The Hurt Healer

Unfortunately my mental fortress served only to trap me further in my own cycle of despair by restricting me to living each day based only on the my experiences of rejection and abuse. Worse, it prevented any chance of allowing healing or restoration.

There was only one way that I was going to ever be able to be helped and that was for the walls to come down. Of course this was an inevitability that I hadn’t the courage to face, and so it was my mental breakdown that resulted in the collapse of my barriers. As they came crushing down, my vulnerability was exposed and I waited for the end of my life to come.

But it didn’t. Because someone cared. Professionals stepped in and there were friends who stood by me. They cared for me when I was unable to care for myself. Over time I learnt how to renew my boundaries in a positive way. Life stopped being simply a battle against the bad, and became a home for the good.

“Pour out your heart before Him. God is a refuge for us.” ~ Psalm 62:8

Most importantly I found a faith that cared unconditionally. I realised that God cared, and that He had done all along. When I was willing to receive the love that had been waiting for me, I was then able to heal.  And as I handed over my past, present and future into the security of His hands, so I found the refuge I had longed for. Today I am safely in His care. 

We all need someone to care for us. But that love needs to be rooted in truth. And it needs to be given freely. If someone is showing you that they care only to want something from you in return, then it isn’t genuine. Steer clear.

“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion.  If you want to be happy, practice compassion.”  ~ Dalai Lama

catherine jacobsIt bothers me that so many people are hurting and nobody seems to care. Yet I know that the best way to feel cared for is to care for others. Doing something kind for someone makes you feel good too.

So in answer to the question ‘Who cares?’                                                 I do. I care.

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67 thoughts on “Who cares?

  1. wow since I’m going through a discovery of my life now, hopefully that helps me see that I still can live or keep going. Not easy when dissociation is taking so much of me….life seems nothing to me… Thank You for the awesome post very encouraging and I did share with some people that can benefit from reading it. If it’s ok with you…. I like it very much… Thank you again. Ari.

  2. Reblogged this on bornalmost and commented:
    AI was fascinated by this amazing post written originally by one of the genius blogger ” The Hurt Healer”. So I took her kind permission to reblog this post into my blog for sharing it with my friends and visitors without changing a single word. I hope they will like and appreciate the idea after going through it.

  3. I think this is such an important point, in terms of all our planetary problems – people say, ‘What difference does it make if I recycle my jars/ take my litter home/ have a go at the helpline adviser… etc’ It’s the people who say, ‘I matter, I can make a difference’ who really do. Lovely post, Carolyn – as usual!

  4. Hi Carolyn,

    World is full of chaos and complexities, there is no doubt about it. A question strikes to my mind that who is responsible for the current state of our world! Isn’t it we !!!

    The world can be transformed into a better place if we all start taking small simple steps to love and care for the people around us. It won’t need any money, neither any other resource but a few kind gestures, a smile and few soothing words can have all the difference. I wish and hope that everyone thinks like that and gets motivated, at least after reading such a wonderful post to support humanity.

    Thanks a lot for sharing such a deep touching topic with us.

  5. So beautifully and genuinely described, I always have dreamed of this pain of world to bring forward into the flashlight of magical words those you have poured, embedded and posted here in your great effort to serve people. I Salute you from the bottom of my heart. Full marks to you. I want to reblog this post again at my blog, if you don’t mind, please.

  6. When you find someone in distress and reaching across the abyss give a helping hand. Quality relationships are important to healthy living and child rearing but some issues can only be resolved at the highest level. Ultimately, the emotional depths of some moments in life are so overwhelming that they can only be resolved by God. (Adoption Detective, p. 189) Seek to find the words you already know in thought, and when you are in your lowest emotional states of mind, and there is no one there to help you overcome distress and discouragement and breach the rift, you will find it therapeutic to humbly direct your accepted wisdom to God.

  7. Love yourself as you are. Love everyone as they are. Practicing love will change the world…was my latest tweet Caroline. I feel that the ore aware we are of the presence of love, the more we radiate it…and the world receives.

    Glad you’re letting your light shine. 🙂

  8. I hope you know that your words reach far, Carolyn and that your voice out there in the world is helping. It helps me, reading about how you came through the darkness and exist now in a life that isn’t such a constant struggle. Some days I have trouble believing that is possible and then along comes another sign (like this post) to remind me it is possible.

    • It really is possible. Things don’t always happen when we would like or go the way we would hope but as long as you keep believing in yourself you will gain the strength to overcome anything. Keep strong 🙂

  9. Thank you for being here and thank you for caring so much, Carolyn… for letting that strong tower come down. I can relate to that very much! Because you here, I can send a link to your site to a friend who is hurting very much today.

    I feel like I’ve met nearly a twin sister in you, Carolyn, for I believe in everything you’ve spoken here…. especially about each of us doing the “little’ things each day, setting up a chain reaction that will light up the whole earth with love, joy, and hope!

  10. At first I thought, maybe I’m too idealistic… because I wrote about a similar theme this week… but now in reading your article, Carolyn, I’m so thrilled. If even just one other person “gets it” then it’s an exponential validation. So I guess I just want to jump up and down here – with you – because we can let our “little” lights shine and know it’s setting up a chain reaction, as you’ve written so beautifully here!

    I’m sending a link to your site to a hurting woman I know, Carolyn…. thank you for being here. Thank you for caring!!!! 🙂

  11. Yesterday a couple of women told me that I need to be more ruthless in my blog, that I am too nice. I took their words to heart until I realized that being gentle and loving is part of my mission in life. Now I need to be more gentle and loving to myself. Carolyn, thank you much for your example and honesty in sharing what you’ve overcome.

    • I’m glad you were able to turn the comments into something positive Susan. The realisation that you need to be gentle and kind to yourself is something that we can all learn from. Great to see you here.

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