It was the final straw. After a difficult few months, another little set-back had presented itself. It wasn’t just one of those days. It had been one of those weeks. As I sat down to gather my thoughts I noticed my two daughters standing in the doorway. Reassuring them that I just needed a bit of time to myself and that everything was okay, they ran off upstairs.
A little while later they came to find me. Their faces lit up with excitement as they eagerly presented me with beautifully decorated hand-made paper cone. Inside was a collection of affirmations written by each daughter in bright coloured pen.
‘You’re understanding’ ‘You’re caring’ ‘Fantastic friend’ ‘Lovely personality’ ‘You’re the best mum ever!’ The loves notes went on and on.
As I read through each and every ‘love note’, nothing else seemed to matter. I was experiencing true love from my daughters, at a time when I needed it most.
“The ultimate lesson all of us have to learn is unconditional love, which includes not only others but ourselves as well.” ~ Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
In the past I had searched for love in all the wrong places. I had believed that I couldn’t find love because I was unlovable. But the truth was that I couldn’t love anyone because I needed to learn to love myself first.
As I started on my journey of emotional healing I first found love through faith. It was a gift that was not easy to receive. Years of rejection had made me wary. Allowing any sort of love in my life was a huge risk for me. On the one hand there were endless negative possibilities that could damage me further. But on the other, there was the potential for my broken heart to be healed.
I decided to give a love a chance. I wasn’t looking for the physical, romantic love that can easily fizzle out. Instead I looked for trust, respect, acceptance and commitment. It meant learning to love myself at this level first. But once I did, I was able to open up my soul to those who could offer the same.
“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” ~ Lao Tzu
Life will never be free from challenges and difficulties. But the love I receive from faith, family and friends give me all the strength I need.
Everyone needs love in their life.
Everyone needs the gift of true love.
http://madebynicole.blogspot.co.uk/2011/03/daughter-is-gift-of-love.html – Top image. Thank you.
Bottom image thanks to Lisa Ferrante http://www.etsy.com/listing/104934519/love-is-the-best-place-ive-ever-been
The Hurt Healer 
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What a beautiful post. And what a wonderful quote from Lao Tzu: “Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” I know I’ve had days that have been entirely turned around by a crooked cut-out heart, or a tangled bundle of daisies offered with love. And love has helped me to do many things I thought were impossible.
Thank you for such lovely comments Amy!
What a wonderful reminder…. the things we think our setbacks and the reminders God gives us… the things that really matter in the end are so different than we originally thought…. Your two wonderful creations are your handprints on this world…your handprints on them…. returned back to you a thousand fold what any unsetback could have given back! My advice to you: Save that cone! It will be more treasured by you than some of the biggest bank accounts ever! I promise!
What a fabulous statement Diane! “Two handprints on the world” I just love that!
Hi Carolyn. Congratulations! I have awarded you an almost brand, new award, The Compassionate Communicator Award for this post. Check out the details on my post http://infinitesadnessorhope.wordpress.com/2012/09/24/awards-night/. Cate. 😀
That is great! Thank you1 Shall be linking back in my post ‘Believing is Receiving’ 🙂
😀 I’m off to check it out. Have a good day.
Thank you Cate. You too 🙂
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Thank you for your award! And congratulations on yours 🙂
Before my daughter was really able to print clearly, she spent a lot of time learning how to write “I love you, Mommy.” Besides her name, it was one of the few things she was really confident about writing. She knew it always made me feel better if she wrote it on a post it and stuck it somewhere I would be sure to see it. She is almost 27 now, and I still have one stuck on the side of a scotch tape dispenser in my office. It is almost faded away, but I know what it says, and some days, I still need to see it, maybe more than ever.
That is a lovely story Susan! What a wonderful memento to have after all those years. We all need to know that we are loved and some days we do need that more than others.
I’m a little slow in my reading at the moment but the timing was perfect for me today. It always amazes me how things work out like that. What a wonderful story, It warmed my heart and made me remember how children are so good at expressing what it is they feel when they feel it. What a great gift. 🙂
It is those little things that happen that can turn a bad day into a wonderful day to be cherished. I think there is much to be learnt from children 🙂
Carolyn, what a beautiful story of love from your daughters.. they seemed to know exactly what their mother needed.. so thoughtful. You are blessed to have those 2 daughters who shower you with blessings.
Thank Pat. They really are amazing!
Amen, Carolyn! I am SO thankful that God has shown me His true gift of love to us and how we are to love others. It’s taken me 33 years to get here… but I’m starting to “get it!” – finally! “Do unto others…” goes much deeper than we give it credit for. And of course, the last part of that verse is “as you would have done to you.” Like you said, we do need to love ourselves first so then we will know how to love others! Beautifully written, as always!
Thank you Jessica for your inspiring comments. I’m joining you in it taking a long time to get it!
What an awesome story Carolyn! It’s amazing how our children know just what we need sometimes.
Aren’t children just wonderful :)Thanks for your comments Helena!
What’s wonderful is what a solid support system you have build around you, of pure love. And more amazing because, as you’ve said, you had no model to pull from. Hat’s off, my friend!
Thank you Sharon for your continued support and encouragement 🙂
Love, love, love this Carolyn. Thank you so much for sharing from your beautiful hearts. I really liked this quote, “The ultimate lesson all of us have to learn is unconditional love, which includes not only others but ourselves as well.” ~ Elisabeth Kubler-Ross So very true!
It’s a great quote isn’t it! Thank you Susan for your comments!
How beautiful! You’ve created a new family legacy, with all that love lavished by your daughters. I can only imagine all the love you’ve poured into those girls… it’s such a treasure!
I remember, many years ago, something of the same happened to me. I walked out of my bedroom, where I had been holed up, crying, and my children had used up a whole pad of sticky notes with wonderful words of love and affirmation on each one. They were stuck to every wall and door in the house… I treasured those sticky notes for years until they got lost in a recent move!
This is truly beautiful – a story that makes me cry… what a treasure you are, Carolyn!!!
That’s a beautiful story too Susan of your sticky notes. Aren’t children amazing! 🙂
Beautiful story Carolyn. It makes me think about my youngest son. He writes me these beautiful letters from time to time. They make me feel like superman. There is no greater joy or honor than the love of your children.
Sounds like you have an adorable son Ron!
Sometimes our children can teach us so much, especially when it comes to love. Yours sound like they knew what you needed at that moment. They are precious to you from up above. Hugs.
Thank you Cathy!
Love is a pretty powerful thing, isn’t it? Whether it’s from your kids, your partner – even your pets! Feeling love (and giving love) really is what helps us feel like we matter. Great post!
Great comments Nisha! We all need to feel that we matter 🙂
Beautifully written – thank you!
Thank you for your comment!
I appreciated the vulnerability of this post. That sounds incredible, that your daughters have such an empathic sense of where you’re at and what you need. I imagine they picked that up from the way you’ve related with them.
As a child I was never allowed to show my feelings or let anyone know what was going on for me, so as a parent now it’s important that I teach my girls that it’s okay to show emotions. Thank you for your comments Chris!
This is beautiful Carolyn, I remember those moments that my children just started to share their feelings for me; it meant so much to me. Those are sweet moments, that we never forget. Awesome for you that you have children who know their mommy and they also know that their mommy needs a boost once in a while.
I think it’s important not to burden children with adult issues but at the same time they need to know that it’s okay to show emotions. They also learn that when difficult things happen that their parents can handle it and their world won’t fall apart. Thanks for your comments Olga!
Heartfelt stories here on this page! you must be so proud of your daughters! Great work m MoM!!
Thank you Anita. I am (as is every other mom) the proudest mom in the world 🙂
Carolyn – how wonderful of your daughters!! And how wonderful that you could just sit there and let each and every one of their love notes sink in… I’m so awed by your journey and incredible insights and strength – thanks so much for sharing them.
Lisa there is something so special about the love from a child. It’s the simplicity that is so powerful. A few hand written words on a piece of paper had such a huge impact on how I felt!
To Love yourself first is so important..;0 You have the most beautiful graphics WOW! and That is one of my all time favorite Quotes! “Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” ~ Lao Tzu I tweet it TOO often !
So glad you enjoy the whole post Elizabeth! The artists (which are credited at the end or click on the photo) always have their own story to tell!
Carolyn….You have two special girls. It looks like they’ve learned a lot from their Mom.
Your desire to find love and faith took a lot of courage. You are reaping magnificent results. I know that it will continue as you journey on.
Thank you Fran! Stepping out in faith and being open to love does take courage if you’ve experienced rejection in the past. But it’s so worth taking the first step!
What great writing and what a wonderful message. Nothing is as unconditional as the love between children and parents. You are blessed and you also are a blessing to many. Thank you for writing what so many can’t or won’t.
Dorien.
Thank you Dorien for such inspiring comments. I love that you point out that there is nothing as unconditional as the love between children and parents. My daughters are totally precious to me!
What a fabulous message Carolyn ;). That Elizabeth Kubler-Ross quote is one of my all time favourites. It is so true that real healing begins when we can love ourselves unconditionally… Thanks so much for your inspiration. ♥
It’s one of my favourite quotes too Moira! Thank you for your comments 🙂
Everyone does need true love…and what amazing children that you have…you have taught them very well and are such an fabulous example to them, Carolyn…
Thank you for your kind words Sherie! I am totally biased but I agree with you, my girls are amazing 🙂
I love reading all of your posts Carolyn. They are a true inspiration to me at this time in my life !
Thank you Terressa! Keep strong 🙂
Aww… that is too sweet Carolyn. You know, as humans we look for love, as WE define love. It is impossible to know what love really is until you receive God’s love through Jesus. THAT is love. I am so blessed to know Him… x0x (Decided to use my twitter just for you.) <>
Gosh Norma that is really kind of you :)I love your definition of love!
Such a beautiful message you share through moments of your own life. Your ability to pen your feelings and reach out to others is truly a gift. You are a blessing!
Thank you so much Martha!
What a beautiful story and a true example of true love. And you are right, it is a gift. I think a lot of people miss out on true love because they think it’s something that they are supposed to “get” magically. Truth is, once you start giving it freely(especially to yourself) love begins to exist within you and around you. 🙂 Great post.
Thank you for your wise words Angela! True love is magical but it doesn’t happen magically 🙂
Love the quote “Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” ~ Lao Tzu
It does take courage to love, because You are trusting that person with Your heart, especially one that has been broken before. Love in it’s rarest and most beautiful form, is the love that is shown when you feel least worthy of love, love through faith from God even as a sinner, love from your child after you have just disciplined them, love fro a friend when you haven’t spoken for a while. Ultimately, we are all worth being loved, and we are all capable of givng so much love.
I’m grateful for Your experiences Carolyn, as much as they may have nearly killed You at the time, You are helping others now, and that is love as well, love for others.
Thank you for your insightful comments Christine. Love that you make the point that we all worth loving and we are all capable of loving too. 🙂
I never knew what true love was until I met Jesus and accepted Him as my personal Lord and Savior. What Jesus did for me, that’s true love.
So glad you found true love Carrie!
I am hoping to find true love one day too if God sends me somebody. In my previous relationship, he didn’t love himself so he made myself and kids miserable. I gave him unconditional love, like the Lord has for me but it wasn’t good enough. I am healing now and I don’t hold grudges but I know we both have to move on our separate paths and for myself, I will help others and serve God. Thank you Carolyn for your inspiring blogs and website.
It is desperately hard to give out unconditional love to someone who doesn’t return it. Your love was good enough, but he wasn’t able to receive and reciprocate because he didn’t love himself. You have have so many years putting others first, especially your children. Now it’s your turn! I love the strength of your faith. I can join you in your prayers that you will continue to heal and find the true love that you deserve.
Your daughters’ gift to you brought tears to my eyes…it’s obvious that they have hearts full of compassion.
Thank you! They are totally adorable Shelly – but I’m also very biased 🙂
I love your blog. Its beautifully written and really stunnin in illustration. I never knew true love until I met Jesus and made Him my personal Lord and Savior
That’s wonderful Carrie!