Travelling light.

“The past has no power to stop you from being present now. Only your grievance about the past can do that. What is grievance? The baggage of old thought and emotion.” ~ Lao Tzu

Take a look at the baggage you are carrying around with you today. If grief, resentment, pain or regrets are weighing you down then it’s time to unload.

When you’ve suffered disappointments or been left disillusioned by love-ones it can be hard to move on. The shock, denial, guilt, anger you can experience as a part of grieving are natural for a time, yet if you don’t progress through those stages it is all too easy to become trapped in the past.

But life is about living in the present and anticipating the future. You can’t do that if you are carrying the baggage of yesterday into today. And when difficulties arise they simply add to your luggage of psychological pain. It gets heavier and you become encumbered.

Instead of embracing each day afresh, you return to the same mental battleground. You replay the same scenarios or repeatedly hear the same negative thoughts, only to be hurt yet again. Your bags are stuffed with rejection, shame, bitterness, jealousy, mistrust, apathy, confusion, anger, fear. In fact they can be filled to the top but it doesn’t matter, you find another bag and carry that too.

“Live, so you do not have to look back and say: ‘God, how I have wasted my life.’ ~ Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

I spent years carrying the baggage of my childhood abandonment and abuse. I carried them for so long that they became part of me. Where ever I went those bags came with me, because the loss of my mother and abuse by my father were all I had to define me.

Instead of using those traumas as stepping-stones to a better tomorrow, I used them as a prison wall. Instead of taking each day as an opportunity to restore and renew, I added to my pain. Instead of living my life as the person I wanted to be, I lived as a victim of my past. Not surprising then that depression and alcoholism became my coping strategies to help me carry my emotional load. Until they too become too much to bear.

Like many who have gone through life clutching on to the baggage of trauma or tragedy, I realised the damage being caused physically and emotionally. However, not only did I not know how to let go, I wasn’t sure that I wanted to.Because the prospect of change was so terrifying.

I had dragged those issues of rejection, abuse, depression, alcoholism with me for so long that I couldn’t imagine being without them. My fear of the future overwhelmed the familiarity of my existence. And what a terribly dark existence it was.

The truth was that all I possessed defined me as a victim. When I finally crumbled under the pressure of my past, I knew deep down though that I had to make the choice to give up or get up.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” ~ Matthew 11:28-30

The only way to move forward was to throw away all those things that held me as a prisoner of my past. I was so weary. I’d had enough of it all. Still it was only when I hit rock bottom that I turned to faith.

It wasn’t easy, but I gave myself permission to hand over everything that was harming me. Gradually over time I released all the pain and fought the demons that had troubled me for as long as I can remember. Faith taught me that I didn’t have to understand why I had endured such trials and that there was nothing I could do to change the past.

Acceptance of what had gone before helped me to begin living in the day and start looking to the future. Then forgiveness provided the key  that set me free to clear out all the baggage. With my lightened load I could  reclaim my life and fill it anew.

Now I have a faith-filled heart full of hope, love, joy, and trust. I continue my journey in sobriety with gratitude and serenity. No longer burdened by yesterday I choose to appreciate today whatever it brings and eagerly await tomorrow.

And that is what I would wish for you. Don’t let the events of the past keep you from enjoying the future that awaits you. Put down those bags crammed with destructive negativity. Leave them and don’t look back. You don’t need them those things any more. .

Time to find some bright, new vibrant luggage and fill them with everything that can bless and fulfill your mind, body and soul. Those things that nourish and uplift are weightless.

Believe me, it’s time to start travelling light.

Miss you.

“Even though you’re always in my heart, I long for you to be with me today.” ~ The Hurt Healer

As the seasons in our lives change, so do the people. Transient relationships that are meaningful in the moment can disappear into our past without detriment to our selves. As quickly as they transpire, so someone new takes their place. People come. People go.               Life moves on.

 

“Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.”     ~ Aristotle.

Then there are those relationships that you wish could last forever. Everyone has someone who plays an intrinsic part in their life. There is a bond that you never want broken. There is a uniqueness that you never want to share. It’s special. It’s precious. And it’s all yours.

Unthinkable then that one day you may have to live without your kindred soul. Unimaginable that you may have to go through each day without the one that filled your heart. Yet it happens. It doesn’t really matter how, because the outcome is the same. You have lost a part of you. And you will never the same again.

But even though that person is no longer present doesn’t mean they are gone completely. You can’t be with them but you can sense them. You can’t touch them but you can feel them. You can’t talk to them but you can hear them. What a comfort to know that whilst the physical relationship has ended, your deep connection continues in the spiritual.

“True love stories never have endings.” ~ Richard Bach

Sometimes it takes me by surprise when I start to miss someone whose existence has long passed from my life. The heartache has ceased but still the emergence of the memory of that special one can bring reminders of the agony of my loss.

        “Even though you’re always in my heart, I long for you to be with me today. Maybe it’s because I’m facing a season of change that I wish you could be here to share it with me. I miss you more than anyone can imagine. 

Strange though that missing you reminds me of just how far I have come. In those dark days, the lack of your presence would have fueled a cloud of despair and kept me in a depth of depression. No matter how hard I tried to numb the pain, your absence was an endless void.

           Now I can dwell on your memory and know that it’s because you went away that I found my strength. It’s because you left that I could find out who I really was. And I’m grateful not only for what you were able to do for me, but for what you were not. You have helped me become what I am, but that doesn’t stop me missing what we might have had if only you had been here.”

“My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” ~ Psalm 73:26

Thankfully I have a faith that not only comforts and heals, but gives meaning to my life. You need all of these things when you’re heartbroken. For when there is nothing you can do in the natural, it is the spiritual that must relied upon.

Making that connection didn’t come easily for me, because I blamed God for the loss in my life. It took time to learn how my anger and bitterness was misplaced and that God had been with me through the tears. My pain had been His pain too.

Gently and tenderly faith restored my brokenness and replaced the emptiness with love. It healed me of the past, gave me meaning for each day, and the assurance of a hope-filled future. But most of all I have the promise that the one day, I will be reunited with the one I love and no longer will there be the need to say ‘ Miss you.’

Thank you to Kim Sisto-Robinson whose fabulous blog My Inner Chick, written in memory of her beloved sister Kay, inspired me to write this post.

How to heal a broken heart.

I wasn’t going to write about affairs of the heart in this post but the recurring theme in many of my messages this week concerns broken hearts. Anyone who has gone through or is going through the trauma of a broken heart knows that the pain can be unlike any other. It can feel like the agony is never going to end. So how do you heal a broken heart?

We will all experience the end of a special relationship at some point in our lives, whether it’s by death, divorce or other break-up. But you can also have your heart broken by someone who you are currently connected to or want to be with. Whatever the circumstances, the fact that the love you need is missing from your life can keep you trapped in anguish. No matter how you try to hide your hurt from the outside world, you carry your broken heart within you, where ever you go.

“Healing is a matter of time, but it is sometimes also a matter of opportunity.” Hippocrates

Whether it’s emotional or physical injury, time can be a great healer. However when it comes to a broken heart, the passing of days can dull the ache a little, but time itself cannot restore you to happiness.

In fact no-one and nothing can mend the wound for you, it is something you have to do for yourself. Good friends can listen and comfort, family can empathise and nurture you. But no-one can heal your heart. How could they? How can they ever reach the depths of your frustration, your fears, your loneliness, your despair?

“All healing is first a healing of the heart.” – Carl Townsend

It’s only when you believe you can heal and you want to move on that the true recovery can begin. Initially you may try to manage the damage with things that gratify you.  Food, alcohol, drugs, sex, work  all can help fill the void, numb the pain, and distract you. Yet temporary respite fades and the reality of your raw and vulnerable soul reappears.

When my mother abandoned me as a child it felt like she had taken a piece of my heart with her. Then my father ripped the rest to shreds through his abuse. By the time I reached adulthood I all had were fragments that I sought to protect in the hope that one day someone would love me enough to help me rebuild my brokenness. And along came my first love.

Who doesn’t remember their first love? The passion, intensity and promise of that relationship is what made it so special. But for me it was the fact that someone actually loved me that made me want to hold on to it forever. Of course, it didn’t and when the painful ending arrived it was excruciating.

The loss of my first love reinforced the rejection and worthlessness that I had experienced all my life. It reminded me of the words that had been spoken over me as a child that I was unwanted and unlovable. It made me believe that I would always be discarded and alone. So I put a barrier around the fractured remains of my heart and vowed never to let anyone hurt me ever again.

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” Psalm 147:3

When you reach those dark depths of despair that a broken heart brings, it can feel safer to barricade yourself against the world and hide your true feelings, rather than allow yourself to heal. But heal you must because the alternative is to spend the rest of your life trapped in a mental cocoon of distrust and anger, loneliness and grief.

Emotional restoration takes time and courage. And it demands that you use the very entity that wounded you to heal you – love. It starts with giving yourself permission to love yourself unconditionally and in doing so finding forgiveness for yourself and others.

In the beginning I found this almost impossible to even contemplate. The fear of being hurt again was almost overwhelming, but I took my fragile heart and trusted in a faith that healed through unconditional love. It was a process of tears and time, but eventually the wounds were less tender and the sorrow  less severe.

Once the scars formed I was able to move onto what was for me the hardest part – letting go. You have to be able to release yourself from  whoever caused you so much suffering. Letting go doesn’t mean forgetting the love you had or dishonouring the memory of a special individual. It does mean accepting that the past is over and can’t be changed.

Through faith I was able trust in the knowledge that season of my life had come to an end and a new beginning awaited. Through love I was able to celebrate my self-worth and reach out to others.

All this and more came from a courage to heal. The courage to heal a broken-heart.

Images thanks to the fabulous talent of Kathleen Tennant at http://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/KathleenTennant

Totally self-indulgent.

Forgive me. This is a totally self-indulgent post. If you’ve ever had something unexpected happen that has filled you with overwhelming joy and if you like a faith filled post, then please read on and share my proud moment. Otherwise I look forward to seeing you for my next post!

Like many mothers I cherish my children as the most amazing and the most special of all beings. My daughters bring me so much joy on a daily basis and are a constant blessing. But this week brought me something unexpected and precious.

“The soul is healed by being with children.”  ~Dostoyevsky

Fifteen years ago, in the weeks before Easter, I was in the depths of the biggest physical and emotional breakdown of my life.  Admitted to a secure psychiatric ward I was addicted to alcohol, suicidal and without a future. I was completely broken in mind, body and spirit.  The world had nothing to offer me and I had nothing to offer the world.

A whisper of hope and a speck of faith were all I had. And many times I believed that this was never going to be enough. But it was.

It was enough to give me the courage to give life one my try. And I did.

“when we are powerless to do a thing, it is a great joy that we can come and step inside the ability of Jesus” ~Corrie ten Boom

Fast forward fifteen years to this week, the week before Easter. I was attending my twelve year old daughter’s first parent-teacher meeting at high school. With every teacher telling me how high her averages were and how wonderful she was as a student,  I became more and more up-lifted.

Then I met the religious studies teacher. Like all the other teachers, she smiled and shook hands as I introduced myself, but somehow this felt different. Again I was congratulated on my daughter’s excellent grades, in particular for her assessed assignment, but there was something that I just couldn’t put my finger on. Like the teacher wanted to say more, but wasn’t sure how to. But just as I got up to leave she asked whether I had read the assignment, which when I replied that I hadn’t, was quietly placed in front of me.The task was ‘to describe a person who inspires you in your faith’.

                                                      My inspiration.

My inspiration is my mum, Carolyn Hughes. She is special to me and she’s my inspiration because of her shining personality, her strong faith in God and her achievements in life. She has achieved many great things in her life, like a degree in psychology and social policy, a very successful blog called ‘The Hurt Healer’ and fifteen years ago overcame a drink addiction. My mum has raised a lot of money for ‘The Kenwood Trust’, a charity which provides treatment and support to anyone with an addiction to drink or drugs.

My mum has a strong faith in God and prays every day. She prays to God for everything and believes that without God, we are hopeless and helpless. It was through God that she overcame her addiction. She says that she has been overwhelmed by God’s grace and mercy and her reward has been a fantastic family of her own. Her religion and faith are extremely important to her and she has greatly helped me believe and understand my faith better.

My mum’s personality is amazing, as she is funny, supportive, clever, kind, generous and creative. She is also a great cook, writer and most importantly an extraordinary mum. She is my inspiration and I hope, after reading this, you will see why.

By Rebecca Hughes  🙂

I’m normally quite good with words, but I have none that can describe what I felt as I read that. Other than to say that it felt a bit like I had won the war.

I had battled with depression, alcoholism and everything that comes with it. And I had overcome them both. Over the years I had crawled my way from the brink of an existence. And I could now stand tall and proud as a survivor.

But beyond that I had been able to inspire someone who means the world to me. It may have taken me fifteen years, but today I am proud of who I am and what I have become. And totally grateful to those who have helped me on my way.

Thank you for allowing me my proud mum moment and for those of you who are struggling, hurting, grieving, lonely and in pain, let me offer you this Irish blessing.

” May God give you…For every storm a rainbow, for every tear a smile, for every care a promise and a blessing in each trial. For every problem life sends, a faithful friend to share, for every sigh a sweet song and an answer for each prayer.”

Time to say goodbye.

Looking to the start of a new year can be exciting. It can be the time to plan ahead, and dream of good things to come.

But to make way for new beginnings, it’s important to let go of anything that is going to hinder or harm you. Nobody has an infinite amount of physical time, or emotional energy. So it makes sense to use what we have on relationships that will benefit not drain. That are reciprocal, not a burden.

We all have relationships in our lives that come to a natural end. For whatever reason our contact with that person has run its course. We move on without a sense of loss or pain.

But there are other relationships that we cling to. Or we continue to involve ourselves in, with the hope that there will be a shift in commitment, interest or behaviour. And it’s those interactions that we need to reflect on. Perhaps it’s time to say ‘goodbye’?

Life is too precious to waste on others who are ultimately using or abusing.

I wish I had learnt this sooner. I wasted so much of my life on my mother. Years of thinking, talking, worrying, crying, soul-searching.  And all for nothing.

When my mum abandoned me as a young child, it wasn’t until much later that the impact of her actions came into force. I spent years wondering about her, blaming myself, searching for some answers. And as an adult when I discovered she had told everyone that I had been killed in a car crash, I was in agony. But my emotions were misplaced. I was grieving for the loss of my mother, but instead I should have been grieving for myself.

Instead I sought refuge in alcohol and my life spiralled slowly into the depths of despair. I had to hit rock bottom before I was ready to let go of my mother. Letting go was a gradual process of dealing and disposing of the rubbish that filled my mind. It was ‘Goodbye’ to self-hatred, worthlessness, guilt and shame. And a ‘Farewell’ to the oppressors of addiction, depression, loneliness and fear.

With time, prayer and courage I was able to overcome the negative connections of the past. In doing so I became emotionally available. I opened up my heart, mind and soul to those who could respond out of a true sense of friendship and love. Just as importantly, I learnt how to end relationships. What freedom!

It’s crucial to recognise those relationships that are harmful or futile. But if you decide that now is the time to end your involvement, be prepared.  Don’t underestimate how difficult, how painful or how long it can take to let go of a relationship. The more you have invested the harder it will be to break free.

“New beginnings are often disguised as painful endings.”

Lao Tzu

But keep strong and it will be worth it. Visualise how you want to live your life. Surround yourself with good people. Kind people. Say ‘hello’ to those who inspire you and fill your life with light, joy and passion.

Accept those that accept you.

Embrace those that embrace you.

Love those that love you.

And as for the rest – time to say ‘goodbye’.

My Wish for You.

Christmas can be such a wonderful occasion of sharing and caring. Of excitement and expectation. For me it’s also a time of reflection and prayer. Of gratitude and thanks for the family and friends that make my life so special. And it’s a time for wishes.

I understand those who dread the festivities. This bright and shimmering period which serves only to reinforce a  sense of loss, disappointment and weariness. Tough going at the best of times, but even harder if you’re trying to put on a brave face so that those around you won’t sense how desperate you are. How hard it all is. How lonely you feel.

Somehow when everyone else is celebrating around you, it can make your pain feel a million times worse. And your sense of isolation almost unbearable. My wish for you would be that you be filled with the reassurance that if you just stay strong there are brighter times ahead.

For anyone who feels hopeless I wish you hope. For those in physical pain, I wish you healing. For the lonely I wish you friendship and compassion. If you’re trapped in the past I wish you freedom to enjoy the day and move on to the future. If you’re fearful I wish you courage and self-belief. If you’re struggling with grief, anger or bitterness, I wish you peace and forgiveness.

For anyone who is on the journey to becoming themselves I wish you inspiration to live the life you dream of. For those who are happy and contented with life, I wish you continued joy and prosperity of mind, body and soul.

For everyone who has been kind enough to support The Hurt Healer blog in so many ways, I thank you sincerely for sharing my journey. I wish you all a safe and loving Christmas and look forward spending time with you in 2013.

“May all your hopes, dreams and wishes become reality.” ~The Hurt Healer

Images – Floral Love http://www.etsy.com/listing/91476696/floral-love-11×14-mixed-media-art-print and Life http://www.etsy.com/listing/87084411/life-8×14-signed-mixed-media-print-home thanks to the amazing Kathleen Tennant

The Gift of Gratitude.

How can I be thankful for my life? How can I find gratitude when events take a turn for the worse? The answer for me lies in ‘perspective’.

My computer crashed suddenly and spectacularly at the beginning of the week. It wasn’t just the inconvenience of being without the internet, it was the possibility that I had irretrievably lost some of my recent work that worried me. Any other time, this might have sent me into a panic at best and at worst, a prolonged period of ‘Why me?’

But I was able to accept the situation for what it was – a technical failure which meant I had to change a few things. My perception had been impacted by what had happened the day before. A letter had arrived to confirm the need for further treatment following a biopsy. It wasn’t what I had hoped for. Yet I could look at the positive side because of what happened the day before that. The death of a friend.

Perspective. No matter what was going on for me, the fact was that I had a life. My computer could be replaced. My work could be rewritten. My illness could be treated. How could I not be grateful?

Gratitude is a gift. And like any present, it is something that benefits the giver and the receiver. Thankfulness is so much more than an emotion. It is a choice to appreciate what you have. It is a decision to accept yourself and others for what you or they are.

Yet the more grateful we feel, the more our eyes are opened to the miracles that take place in our lives every day. We are touched by the blessings that appear and this allows us to reach out to others. Whether it is a simple ‘Thankyou’ or an extravagant gift, heartfelt appreciation always reaps rewards. It can turn someone’s ordinary day into an extraordinary occasion.

“Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.”
~ Marcel Proust

In the past, my psychological damage and depression meant long periods of being unable to find anything to be thankful for.  My mind was so busy dealing with the pain that I became emotionally frozen. I could barely feel or express anything, but especially not gratitude.

“He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has.” – Epictetus

Life can be harsh, but the best way to deal with those troubled times is to count your blessings. Finding even one small thing to be thankful for can take you out of self-pity. Gratitude can help you find peace in chaos and relief from pain. It can spark the light that leads you out of the tunnel.

Learning how to be grateful brought healing to me. Through my faith and my family I learnt not only how to love others and myself, but also how to love my journey. I am grateful for the life I have had because it has made me the person that I am today. I can love my life because of my past and not despite of the pain. The gift of gratitude has set me free to embrace life on life’s terms, and that is freedom indeed.

No matter what happens today I’m going to find time to say ‘Thankyou!’ Will you join me?

Top image http://www.etsy.com/listing/94172614/may-you-wake-up-with-gratitude  thanks to Lori Porter

The Freedom of Forgiveness.

“I’ll never forgive you.” Said in the heat of the moment it can feel like you really mean it. You’ve been hurt. The pain is unbearable. You will never forget and you will never forgive. End of story.

Except that it’s not. Not wanting or not being able to forgive brings further anguish. It doesn’t diminish over time like a memory can. It can filter into your soul filling you with bitterness, intolerance. Thoughts of revenge will keep you trapped in the very past that you despise and keep your heart like stone.

Forgiveness is the key to freedom. It will release you to live the life as the person you were meant to be. Not the person held captive by the actions and words of someone else.

“Forgiveness is an act of the will, and the will can function regardless of the temperature of the heart.”     ~ Corrie Ten Boom

In my own life, one of the main barriers preventing my recovery was not being able to forgive. Until I could, I was going to continue holding onto the anger and pain. I was going to continue looking for something to numb me from reality. And I was going to carry on thinking that life owed me. It didn’t.

For me the greatest healing came from forgiving the mother who had abandoned me and the father who had abused me. It was a journey over many years requiring patience, determination and courage. Forgiving isn’t a transient emotion, it’s a decision that continues over time. It was worth it. My reward was a life free from the horrors of my past and the liberty to enjoy each day with a clear mind and an open heart.

Of course there have been many other instances since then that I have been lied-to, insulted and betrayed. Each time I have had to make the choice to forgive. Even when every fibre in my body has screamed ‘Never!’ I have still resolved to make my peace.

Forgiveness is not a form of acceptance or surrender. It is a battle cry. Another person’s actions have already stolen enough from me and I am refusing to let them take any more. Even if there is no recognition of wrong-doing or apology, by forgiving I am taking control of a situation over which I had none.

“Forgiveness is not an occasional act. It is a permanent attitude” ~ Dr. Martin Luther King.

Have you ever replayed an event over and over in your mind?  Have you driven yourself half crazy doing it? Has thinking it left you feeling depressed, frustrated and emotionally exhausted? You need to let it go.

Remember that forgiveness is not to be confused with being a doormat or allowing the offender to ‘get away with it’. Neither does it mean you should not express your grief and upset. It means that you are willing to move beyond your rawness and vulnerability. And you are willing to let go of the negativity and animosity that hold you emotionally hostage.

“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.”  ~ Lewis B Smedes

Reclaiming your spirit of compassion will release your body, mind and soul.
That’s the freedom of forgiveness.

Top image thanks to Kathleen Tennant http://www.etsy.com/listing/99791173/inspirational-blank-greeting-card-5×7    Bottom image thanks to Elle Major http://www.etsy.com/listing/92536691/dove-of-peace-with-olive-branch

Why me? Why not me?

Life can be tough. It can bring disappointment, frustration, pain and adversity. When it does, ‘Why me?’ is a natural question to ask. It’s a healthy response to a state of affairs that we weren’t expecting or circumstances over which we have no control.

We’ve all had those days when things seem to go wrong ~ we oversleep, run late because we can’t find the car keys, drop coffee over the laptop, snap at a colleague, send a personal email to all your contacts instead of only a best friend.  And all it takes is one more incident to make us think ‘Why me?’ Usually we can can accept it as ‘just one of those days’ and are able to take it in our stride without too much anguish.

Then there are those days when we feel overwhelmed by an ongoing situation and we ask ourselves ‘Why me?’ out of a sense of despair. A broken heart, a long-term illness, an unexpected redundancy, bereavement. Any significant life change will result in a transition that we would rather not make, yet there is no option but to respond. Grieving or loss may naturally include a stage when we ask ‘Why me?’ but with time we come to accept the situation and are able to live ‘normally’.

‘Why me’ becomes detrimental though when it becomes the basis of thinking. In the past, it locked me into a victim mentality from which it became increasingly harder to escape. Instead of having positive thoughts and expecting the best, ‘Why me?’ dragged me into a negative spiral of expecting the worst. It kept me in the role of a victim whose life was disintegrating through depression and alcoholism. Additionally, it was preventing me from gaining the strength and wisdom that comes from recovering from tragedy and trauma.

There were times when I thought life would never be bearable. I remember sitting with a psychiatric nurse shortly after I had attempted suicide. It was quite a ‘pity party’! I wailed as I recounted how my unloving mother had left me and then declared me as dead, how my cruel father had abused and neglected me, how I’d been bullied incessantly at school because of my appearance, how my relationships had failed, how I’d lost my job, home, possessions. And to top it all I was in the grip of depression and alcoholism. There was no end to my sorrows.

I wanted the nurse to feed my pity with consolation and sympathy. He didn’t. His response was to remind me that I was fortunate to be alive and that I lived in a world where life was tough for others too.

It took me a while but eventually I understood what he had said. As I began to heal I initially felt ashamed and embarrassed at my selfishness and arrogance. What was so different about me that I should escape tribulations? Nothing. I also realised that my mentality could shift dramatically when something good happened. I could embrace a positive experience with excitement and gratitude. Never would I query it with ‘Why me?’ because I believed that I too deserved blessings.

And so began my first steps from victim to survivor. From ‘Why me? to ‘Why not me?’ From feeling powerless to changing anything to believing that I had the strength to take responsibility for everything. Of course there continues to be highs and lows but I no longer consider what is missing, instead I choose to appreciate what is present. I am grateful for it all.

So what about you?  What are you thinking today? Is it ‘Why me?’ or Why not me?