A Soft Place to Fall

Amanda Cass

‘I will soothe you and heal you,
I will bring you roses.
I too have been covered with thorns.’  Rumi

Life can be wonderful yet sometimes it can simply be tough. Whether it’s a broken heart, a damaged relationship, work problems, an unexpected illness or a disease that you’ve been battling with for years, there are times when everyone needs a soft place to fall.

As a mother, it’s something that I accept without question for my children.  If they hurt themselves, if they fall-out with a friend, if they didn’t do as well as they had hoped in exam – I’m there to hug, hold and soothe. Then later when we have more time I can reassure them they are not alone and encourage them to put the difficulty behind them and move on.

I do it without hesitation and for as long as required, for the knowledge that I am their soft place to fall is as beneficial to me as it is to them. They are loved unconditionally. They are wanted and needed. And so am I.

‘My heart is as strong as the depth of my scars.’  The Hurt Healer

In an ideal world everyone would grow up feeling secure and safe despite the stormy seasons, but many don’t. I didn’t either. Being abandoned and abused as a child left me searching for anything that would numb the memories and heal the scars. Alcohol became my soft place to fall, or my ‘hurt healer’ as I called it. It worked for a while but soon the drink turned from friend to foe and I was forced to make a choice between ‘addiction and death’ or ‘sobriety and life’.

The thought of losing the security of alcohol and having to join the real world was terrifying. And by that time the depression I had battled with for years had spiralled out of control. Fearful of the real world, my worry was ‘Who’s going to catch me if I fall?”  In reality I was so physically, psychologically and spiritually broken that I was at rock bottom anyway. I’d already fallen, there’d been no one to catch me and I’d never felt so completely and desperately alone.

 ‘Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.’  Matthew 11:28 NIV

To get up and stay up though I had to find another sanctuary that would fill the void of alcoholism and lift me out of the darkness of my mind. Initially it was through faith that I started to find healing. It offered me a resting place of comfort, and peace. Nothing was required of me except that I stay in the presence of spirit of love. Faith was and is my ultimate and infinite soft place to fall. And even during those times when life seems like a roller-coaster of chaos and disappointment, it never lets me down.

As started on the slow process to self acceptance I began was able to leave behind the need to be critical and judgemental. Instead I choose to view myself with compassion and empathy. And rather than stay trapped in the torment of the past, I decided to forgive the unforgivable.

‘Vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity and change.’  Brené Brown

As I travelled along my journey to recovery I discovered that my vulnerability was no longer my weakness, it was a revelation of my authentic self. So I didn’t have to be confined by my past and I didn’t have to be defined by others. I found the freedom to recreate myself as the person I was meant to be.

But I also discovered that I had a new soft place to fall and that was within me.

Amanda Cass

Life will always have ups and downs, celebrations and disappointments, miracle moments and tragedies. So when times are hard make sure that you surround yourself with those who will nurture and care; inspire and encourage. Whether it’s faith, family, friends or from inside your soul, it’s always good to have a soft place to fall.

Where’s yours?

‘Smile, breathe and go slowly.’  Thich Nhat Hanh

 

Huge thanks to Amanda Cass for allowing me to use her beautiful artwork  (May not be reproduced in any form without her permission.) Take a look at her other work here: http://www.redbubble.com/people/theartoflove

Sanctuary of the soul.

When life feels like it is a constant challenge or you’re simply having one of those tough days, it’s important to be able to find some peace within the turmoil. You need to find the sanctuary  in your soul.

“When you lose touch with inner stillness, you lose touch with yourself.  When you lose touch with yourself, you lose yourself in the world.” Eckhart Tolle

Our body and mind can deal with the practicalities of life, but the powerful depths of healing can only be encompassed through the soul. We may think similar thoughts or behave in the same ways but it is our soul that makes us unique. And only you can reach it.

Acquiring relief in things like alcohol, food, drugs may provide a temporary solution but learning to find that contentment inside yourself can help you manage even the most difficult dilemmas.

“When we feel whole in ourselves there is no need or desire to present ourselves as anything other than simply being” ~ Catherine Ingram

During my dark days of depression and alcoholism, I had been taken to breaking point both physically and mentally. Recovery was going to be huge. I was battered outside and inside, but my soul was completely shattered.With a whisper of hope and a speck of faith I fought to pick up the pieces and gently began the restoration that was to set me on the path to peace.

Initially the renewing of my soul came through love, which came through faith. It came through learning to find not only a physical peace but a mental tranquility. It came through accepting the past and living in the present. And while my soul healed so grew the gentle force of self-belief.

“We may get knocked down on the outside, but the key to living in victory is to learn how to get up on the inside.” ~Joel Osteen.

As my spirit became strong I learnt to have confidence in my intuition. Anyone who has been abused develops a sixth sense as to what is right or wrong, who to trust and who to doubt. Yet the impact of abuse can overwhelm your natural instincts, leaving you mistrusting even your basic feelings. When you start to heal emotionally, you can choose to reclaim your gift of discernment.

I was reminded of this only last week, when I was asked to do something for someone I  knew only a social media site. A little alarm bell had rung initially and I responded with caution. Their retaliation was plain nasty when I was unable to meet their request.

In the past I would have been filled with self-doubt and blamed myself for not being good enough. But now I know how to find the sanctuary in my soul I was able to step back, take a deep breath and see the situation for what it was. It was an issue for the other person and not for me. Calm and reassured by being able to rest in my inner refuge I could let it go in perfect peace. And also with a sense of gratitude to that person for reminding me just how far I had come.

“If there is light in the soul, there will be beauty in the person. ” Chinese Proverb.

Whilst your soul is a place of safety and restoration it can also be a wonderful place of energy and light. Just as our body and mind needs to be healthy, so does our soul. Learn to nurture it and treat it well. Then enjoy the illumination of your soul as it sheds light over the shadows in your life. And reveal the desires of your soul through vitality and passion.

Whether it is serenity or energy that you seek, may you find it in abundance within the sanctuary of your soul.

Images thanks to the wonderful talent of Jen Garcia at Etsy.com http://www.etsy.com/shop/xXSnapDragon

Freedom.

“The caged bird sings with a fearful trill
of things unknown but longed for still
and his tune is heard on the distant hill
for the caged bird sings of freedom.” 
― Maya Angelou, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings.

Would you say you are free? Or do you crave to break out of your life? Freedom is something I often take for granted. Of course there are restrictions imposed by my domestic or work situation, but generally I can travel where I choose, I can read what I want, listen to the music I enjoy, practice my faith – all without fear. Many around the world can barely imagine such privileges. But whilst I accept these liberties as usual in my life, the opposite can be said for my personal freedom. Being able to live my life as the person I was meant to be is something I appreciate and cherish daily.

“Freedom is what you do with what’s been done to you.” ~ Jean-Paul Sartre

I wake up and am glad that I am alive. For anyone who has never experienced a deep depression, waking up each day is not an issue. But my depression took me to suicidal depths that held me trapped for many years – fearful, hopeless, stuck with past memories, fighting a daily battle to simply exist. So to find myself living a life of joy, expectancy, enthusiasm and creativity is an existence that I could only have previously dreamed.

I wake up without the need for a drink. For anyone who drinks socially or is teetotal from choice that is no big deal. But alcoholism controlled me physically and mentally for many years. So to be able enjoy sobriety and reap the incredible rewards it brings is a  breakthrough that I could only have previously coveted.

Both the freedom from acute depression and addiction are something that I have received for many years. Never do I take them for granted. They are something I thank God for, thank my family for and thank my friends for every single day of my life.

“Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” ~ John 8:32

It’s through my bondage that I have found my release. It’s by enduring the trials that I have found the solutions.  It’s by confronting my personal truth that I have found my authentic self.

When you are feeling trapped and weak it is hard to imagine freedom. If you are the grip of victim mentality, it is practically impossible to feel empowered. But whatever the restraints of your situation and however hard it is to change what goes in your physical world, you are still a unique being. How you react and how you feel inside are choices that have within you. Choices that will encourage and expand your personal freedom.

My journey of self-discovery meant facing truths that hurt. With the comfort and restoration of faith I dealt with the pain. I allowed myself to start walking in freedom.  Freedom to accept myself for who and what I was. Freedom to say ‘Yes’ when I wanted and ‘No’ when I didn’t. Freedom to accept my  mistakes and to celebrate my successes. Freedom to love and be loved.

Freedom to be me.

What does freedom mean to you?

Images thanks to the wonderfully talented Aja of the Sagittarius Gallery at http://www.etsy.com/shop/SagittariusGallery And many thanks to Val Andrews – Escape Artist who’s blog regularly inspires me to consider and revere my freedom.