Miss you.

miss you“Even though you’re always in my heart, I long for you to be with me today.” ~ The Hurt Healer

As the seasons in our lives change, so do the people. Transient relationships that are meaningful in the moment can disappear into our past without detriment to our selves. As quickly as they transpire, so someone new takes their place. People come. People go.               Life moves on.

 

“Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.”     ~ Aristotle.

Then there are those relationships that you wish could last forever. Everyone has someone who plays an intrinsic part in their life. There is a bond that you never want broken. There is a uniqueness that you never want to share. It’s special. It’s precious. And it’s all yours.

Unthinkable then that one day you may have to live without your kindred soul. Unimaginable that you may have to go through each day without the one that filled your heart. Yet it happens. It doesn’t really matter how, because the outcome is the same. You have lost a part of you. And you will never the same again.

But even though that person is no longer present doesn’t mean they are gone completely. You can’t be with them but you can sense them. You can’t touch them but you can feel them. You can’t talk to them but you can hear them. What a comfort to know that whilst the physical relationship has ended, your deep connection continues in the spiritual.

“True love stories never have endings.” ~ Richard Bach

Sometimes it takes me by surprise when I start to miss someone whose existence has long passed from my life. The heartache has ceased but still the emergence of the memory of that special one can bring reminders of the agony of my loss.

        “Even though you’re always in my heart, I long for you to be with me today. Maybe it’s because I’m facing a season of change that I wish you could be here to share it with me. I miss you more than anyone can imagine. 

Strange though that missing you reminds me of just how far I have come. In those dark days, the lack of your presence would have fueled a cloud of despair and kept me in a depth of depression. No matter how hard I tried to numb the pain, your absence was an endless void.

           Now I can dwell on your memory and know that it’s because you went away that I found my strength. It’s because you left that I could find out who I really was. And I’m grateful not only for what you were able to do for me, but for what you were not. You have helped me become what I am, but that doesn’t stop me missing what we might have had if only you had been here.”

“My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” ~ Psalm 73:26

Thankfully I have a faith that not only comforts and heals, but gives meaning to my life. You need all of these things when you’re heartbroken. For when there is nothing you can do in the natural, it is the spiritual that must relied upon.

Making that connection didn’t come easily for me, because I blamed God for the loss in my life. It took time to learn how my anger and bitterness was misplaced and that God had been with me through the tears. My pain had been His pain too.

heaven and loveGently and tenderly faith restored my brokenness and replaced the emptiness with love. It healed me of the past, gave me meaning for each day, and the assurance of a hope-filled future. But most of all I have the promise that the one day, I will be reunited with the one I love and no longer will there be the need to say ‘ Miss you.’

Thank you to Kim Sisto-Robinson whose fabulous blog My Inner Chick, written in memory of her beloved sister Kay, inspired me to write this post.

24 thoughts on “Miss you.

  1. Pingback: Miss you. The Hurt Healer | Women Who Think Too Much by Jeanne Marie

  2. I missed seeing you in our regular spaces, Carolyn, and came looking for your next writings. I found this. You dredged up the shadow imprint that loss leaves in our lives … when somebody goes, for whatever reason … yet reminded us to look at what strength and beauty came from that loss. Ever the emotion alchemist! My warm wishes …

  3. This is so beautiful, Carolyn – I especially liked this part, “Now I can dwell on your memory and know that it’s because you went away that I found my strength. It’s because you left that I could find out who I really was. And I’m grateful not only for what you were able to do for me, but for what you were not. You have helped me become what I am, but that doesn’t stop me missing what we might have had if only you had been here.” — the idea of their going away having given you the strength to become who you truly are, yet at the same time, deeply missing them – wow – you are an amazing writer!! Thank you.

  4. So very poignant and touching and so full of insight, Carolyn. I loved this one. We’ve all heard that poem about friends being in our lives for reason, season or lifetime and you touch upon and deepen upon those sentiments. I am blessed to not have had the loss of a dear one (yet), or that broken relationship that really hurt me (yet). But I understand where the idea of someone being there and yet not and learning from what they have given us – or not given us.

    God puts two people together not to just help one of them. Any losses and hurt I have had through others is all in His plan to get me closer to the light. To be in the Sunlight of the Sprit. yes, painful lessons, but lessons nonetheless. Perhaps just carrying someone’s sprit or memory and sharing it with others might be a way of passing on their legacy. Maybe that alone is our task. I don’t know, I can’t profess to know anything more. But the idea of love filling the void – wonderful. And I have felt that before and I know that God and nature abhors a vacuum, and I can’t think of anything better to fill it than love.

    What a day-making post for me to read. Thank you for this.

    Blessings,
    Paul

    • Thank you Paul for your sharing your insight that it is through the hurt that we can get closer to the light. Those painful lessons can be hard but they can bring us to a better place. Thank you for all your encouragement Paul. Blessings.

  5. Everyone who is part of our life leaves a mark on us – whether it is good or bad. When someone leaves a bad mark or memory we can either let that hurt us or make us stronger which is often only possible through God’s strength. Great reminder and healing words!

  6. There are 2 Losses many many years ago which I still think of every day. My Firstborn Son and my only Brother who was taken in the Prime of his Life at 43. Your words beautifully describe my journey. “Gently and tenderly faith restored my brokenness and replaced the emptiness with love. It healed me of the past, gave me meaning for each day, and the assurance of a hope-filled future. But most of all I have the promise that the one day, I will be reunited with the one I love and no longer will there be the need to say ‘ Miss you.’
    God allowed to happen what in his wisdom he could have prevented. And all to make me who I AM today. Thank you.

    • So sorry that you have had to suffer such losses Gertraud, but what strength and courage you show in your words here: ‘God allowed to happen what in his wisdom he could have prevented. And all to make me who I AM today.’ I admire how you have found the positive in such tragic circumstances.

  7. *** Now I can dwell on your memory and know that it’s because you went away that I found my strength. It’s because you left that I could find out who I really was.***

    These two sentences soaked into my core.

    GOD has revealed HIMSELF to me as I’ve walked thru the shadow of death. This is the reason I am still here….

    He is REAL. He has RISEN. He is ALIVE.

    because of this, Kay and I will be together again.

    I have NO FEAR.

    My sweet, Carolyn, I thank GOD that HE is using your for HIS great purpose.

    You. Are. A. Gift.
    & a beautiful Prayer in this Universe.

    LOVE Love love. XXxxx

  8. Your gentle words bring healing, Carolyn… where you wrote: “Now I can dwell on your memory and know that it’s because you went away that I found my strength. It’s because you left that I could find out who I really was. And I’m grateful not only for what you were able to do for me, but for what you were not. You have helped me become what I am, but that doesn’t stop me missing what we might have had if only you had been here.”

    What a positive way to look at a broken relationship… I treasure these words! Thank you so much for expressing what is often so hard to communicate. You always have the right words, the healing words 🙂

  9. I love the perspective you offer here – that those who exit our lives leave gifts in their wake. That gives meaning to the loss which is often where we hurt – we look for reasons why and they are not always self-evident. However, if we are open and achingly honest, there is wisdom in the presence and the absence in our lives.

    • How right you are about looking for the reasons ‘why?’. They aren’t always self-evident and sometimes it is best just to find acceptance and let go. Thank you for taking the time to share your wisdom.

  10. Carolyn this is beautiful. It makes me think of how I do miss my mother. Things happen in my life and I want to share them with her and tell her about them. Then i find myself talking to her and telling her. Yes, times does help us grow and put thing in perspective. The memories can help us heal. People do come and go, but it is what we do with the HOW that they touched our lives that count.

    Thank you for the smile this morning.
    Debbie

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