You’re worth it.

il_570xN.436604577_50qpDo you like yourself? Do you celebrate who you are? Do others appreciate you?

 “It is never too late to be what you might have been.” ~ George Eliot

Very few of us live in isolation and most of us juggle the numerous roles life has assigned us. Parent, colleague, spouse, family member – all come with complicated tasks and expectations from others. Each role demands commitment and loyalty.

But you should never give so much of yourself that you have nothing left for you. Likewise your self-worth should not be defined completely by others. It is so important to be able to identify yourself too. Because it is who you think you are, not who everyone else thinks you are, that will ultimately result in who you will become.

“They cannot take away our self respect if we do not give it to them.” ~ Mahatma Gandhi.

Anyone who has experienced verbal abuse will know that the scars  can run deep. Whether the person intended to harm you or not, it is possible to grasp the abuse as a truth and use it to wound yourself time and time again. Too often the deceptions of the past are still allowed to shape who you are today and will continue to mould your future. But only if you let them. You do have a choice to reject the lies.

It amazes me that after all my years of recovery and despite my strength of faith, that I can be caught off guard. Some extremely hurtful comments were made to me last week at a point when I was feeling less than strong. Even though I could rationalise that person’s tirade as transference of their own inadequacies, there was a part of me that took it on board.

And as I did I hurtled back to that place of fear, loneliness and low self-esteem. The intense doubts surfaced and the feelings of self-hatred emerged to remind me of how worthless I was.  The intensity of the darkness was overwhelming.

But instead of wallowing in the gloom and succumbing to the negativity as I would have done previously, I was able to stand firm and fight my way back into the light. The light that shines from accepting that I am perfectly imperfect and knowing with confidence, who I am.

It can be a psychological battle sometimes, but when those demons raise their ugly heads at those times of vulnerability, you need to affirm everything that is good about you and your life.   Do that and you will find that you will start to free your authentic self and begin to live the life as the person you were meant to be.

“……I am fearfully and wonderfully made……”Psalm 139:14

As a child the emotional abuse I experienced laid the foundation of my depression and alcoholism in adulthood. Healing could only take place once I took the inner child by the hand and reassured her that I could reject what had gone before and claim the truth.

It was through faith that I found the truth. It was through faith that I could heal. And through healing I could love myself. After years I thinking I was worthless, I realised I had value. After years of thinking that nothing mattered because I didn’t, I found that life did matter and I did too.

What about you? Isn’t it time to be bold about yourself. I’m not talking about being boastful or arrogant. I’m talking about appreciating and nurturing yourself. About believing in your talents and abilities. About celebrating everything that makes you unique.

Children have an ability to take things at literally and internalise what is spoken over them. It is so important that when it comes to my own daughters that their personalities are cherished, their achievements are praised and that they know that they are loved unconditionally.

So it made my heart glad to hear my youngest daughter talking to her friend as they played the other day. Her friend spoke of how she wished she could be a princess because she could wear a special dress and this would make her special. My daughter told her friend that  she didn’t need to a special dress because feeling special came from the inside not from the outside. I don’t know if her friend understood what my daughter was saying but I know it made me smile. What we have on the inside of us is infinitely more important than the outside.

“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.” ~Lao Tzu

Are you mourning the person you could have been if only……?  It may be too late to recapture the past. It may be too late to pursue a particular dream. But it is never too late to be the person you were meant to be.

il_570xN.436607721_sygnAccept you can’t change what has gone before. Let it go. Resolve to make new goals and new dreams. Accept you can’t change what others have said. Let it go. Resolve to speak new declarations and embrace everything that is good about you.

What ever is stopping you from loving yourself, caring for yourself, being yourself, let it go. Life is too short to hold onto those things or those people who are robbing you of your worth.

Believe me. Believe in yourself.                You’re worth it.

Top image Believe in Yourself  and bottom image Let it Go used with the kind permission of the fantastic Stephanie Ryan at http://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/stephanieryanart  All rights reserved. No part of these images may be reproduced or transmitted in any form without prior written permission of Stephanie Ryan.

90 thoughts on “You’re worth it.

  1. Pingback: A little ray of sunshine. | From guestwriters

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  3. LOVE LOVE LOVE this post! As always Carolyn, you never fail to disappoint. My favorite two quotes were – “They cannot take away our self respect if we do not give it to them.” ~ Mahatma Gandhi, and “When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.” ~Lao Tzu. So very true, and refreshing. Thank you for such a wonderful read. x

  4. Wonderful article and I know exactly what you mean, I only got there about 3 years ago, luckily it is never too late! Wonderfully written, thank you !

  5. Beautiful post Carolyn! Once you’ve been beaten down it’s hard to learn to believe in yourself again. But when you do…. oh how wonderful and beautiful it is! I’m so glad you found your way back to you. 🙂

  6. So many patterns and reactions are set up by our early memories and experiences. Fortunately we are given the time and opportunity to rectify many … and to release the ones we choose to in order to give us the joy of a better life

  7. What an inspiration article, Carolyn! Just what I needed to hear. Love the way you put this, “Believe me. Believe in yourself. You’re worth it.” Thank you for all your encouragement.

  8. “……I am fearfully and wonderfully made……”Psalm 139:14 ..I love Psalm 139 ..it has been a source of strength for me so many times. Yes, we are all very special and need to claim that specialness. Thank you for sharing another beautiful article.

  9. I’m sorry someone was mean to you Carolyn – I suppose that’s life, because we’re all flawed and human – and once the negative self-talk is set up it can be so easily triggered. I hope you congratulated yourself on how well you handled it – big bunch of virtual flowers to you, from down here in Cornwall 🙂

  10. I love your writing style and introspective posts:) I am so happy to hear you were able to arrive in a better place..Many people never overcome obstacles, but you seem to have went above and beyond! ❤

  11. Whenever I visit your site, Carolyn, I’m deeply impacted by your wisdom, transparency, and gentle spirit. Just a few minutes before opening up your article here, I was journaling… about my current priority of “self-care”. It’s so much a part of me to focus on caring for others that I really needed this encouragement today… and I love what you say, “it is never too late to be the person you were meant to be.” Sometimes I do spend too much time mourning who I thought I was, and who I thought I failed to be. You inspire me greatly, Carolyn, and I’m so grateful for you!

    • Self-care is so important Susan, especially if we are in a position of caring for others. It’s so easy to put everyone else’s needs first. And time is so short that we do need to focus on who we are today and who we can be tomorrow.
      One thing I know for certain Susan is that you are never have been and never will be a failure. xo

    • HI Shakti,
      It’s amazing how much baggage we do carry around with us that stops us from having the confidence to be ourselves. Finding a way to let go of the past is definately one of the first steps.

  12. Carolyn – As always, a beautiful message. I couldn’t help but smile – I love that your daughter already has the concept of who she is and where it comes from. That’s some mighty fine parenting she’s had. My hat is off to you. Learning to be me took many years and as you mentioned, some days I still take a coupe steps backward. It’s easy to do if I allow pain to take over my thoughts. Most of the time I stay ahead of the beast and remember life is good and the wildflowers are dancing in the sun.

    • I love your comment to remember life is good and the wildflowers are dancing in the sun. It can be so easy to be caught up in the busyness of life that we fail to notice these small but amazing things.. Thank you Sheri.

  13. As someone who has spent a lifetime believing she could never do enough, or be enough, or conversely was “too much” I hear this one deep in my soul Carolyn. My addictions have been different, the self-abuse relentless. And I’ve fought my way back to the light over and over again and continue to over and over again. For the last few weeks, it has been a tough journey. Someone I love deeply, and whose soul I see as well as I can see these words, is leaving and as he make that declaration he tore into the very core of my being. I’m grateful for the training and practice I’ve had and for beautiful encouraging words from you.

    And for 3 little words I learned a few weeks ago in a session from “A Course In Miracles”: Up til now. Up til now…I’ve been unsure. Up til now I didn’t know how to be confident without being boastful. Up til now…it has been the most wonderfully simple 3 word gift!

    • So sorry that you are having to manage such a heartbreak. I know that you have the strength to overcome and heal as you have proved in the past. It doesn’t make the process any less painful though. Keep strong and know that ‘up til now’ will continue to be a wonderful gift. xo

  14. What a wonderful post Carolyn! It’s so true that even when we do the healing work on ourselves, there are still times when past hurts can raise their heads… I believe that the path to leading a truly empowered life is by taking two steps forward and one step back – consistently, with faith and trust… You are a brilliant example of that.

    • We are on the same page when it comes to healing Moira. Just before I saw your comment I was actually talking to someone about how the healing journey is about moving forward but in little steps and when the difficulties arise we may still take a step back but we are not as far back as we were before. Thank you for your kind comments!

  15. Hi Carolyn. I enjoyed the post. And thank you to Shelley for the reblog that directed me here. It was uplifting for sure and it certainly spoke to my still wounded being. Scars are forming, but it is still a long road ahead. I must be careful to not pick at the scabs though as God heals me. :0

  16. Carolyn, you write so beautifully. I love how you are living proof that people can overcome the hurtful damage that can be done to us as children that can be taken into adulthood. Bless you for sharing that very important message with the world.

  17. Beautifully inspiring, Carolyn! No matter what we’ve been through, the keys to healing and happiness are always in our hands – and our hands alone. It is the gift no one can take from us without our permission. You are a blessing to so many because of what you share – the truth that this Life will always be what we make it. Blessings, Love & Light, Sloan

  18. Funny how it can all come back in an instant as you said, but beautiful that we don’t have to accept anyone else’s truth anymore. After I catch my breath from the sharp sting, it is so wonderful to be able to let it go…to remember my truth. Great message without being preachy, Thank you, Jeanne Marie

  19. So much to be mined here, Carolyn – so striking in beauty and strength and insight. You write from scars and not from wounds, which brings forth a different energy and level of awareness that we sometimes miss when coming from a dark place. I am guilty of much of what you spoke of – of not nurturing myself enough, or allowing myself to be defined by others, etc. I did that most of my life, and I get caught up in it at times even now. It’s been a long, slow trek to getting to a point where I can say I like me. Big words. Not on the “L” word about me yet, or very weakly, but it will come. There is the Divine within us, and we have access to it once we let go and clear the way for It. And that is the takeaway here, Carolyn. Let it go, open up, (re)discover Authentic Self.

    I love what your daughter said there…that comes from Mom. Great job 🙂

    Blessings and thank you for a wonderful, wonderful post.

    Paul

    • I’m so glad that you are able to see that I write from scars and not from wounds Paul. Like you, it has taken a long time to get to that point of healing where I can say that I like who I am. It does come from within and from knowing that I was created by a loving God. Just knowing that was the first step, but believing it and feeling it came later. I know you have the capacity to learn to love yourself completely because of who you are today, not on what you were yesterday or who you could be tomorrow. It will come. A day at a time. 🙂
      Blessings to you.

  20. Amen…well said!! I find myself at times getting caught off guard as well. I sink down but with a huge dose of self-compassion, can look at the situation with new eyes, and see where exactly that feeling comes from. I then repeat verses and sayings like you posted. Thanks you!

    • We all need a huge dose of self-compassion sometimes Shelley. It does help us get a fresh look and a new perspective. Thank you for your comments Shelley and for reblogging on your blog. 🙂

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  22. “But it’s never to late to be the person you were meant to be.” It’s taken me 10 years and an incredible journey, but I’m finally living as that person – hurray! But as you also write, there are times, still, when someone’s words or actions can hurtle me “back to that place of fear, loneliness and low self-esteem.” However, now, getting back to the light – to my self – doesn’t take long. Thanks for another wonderful post, Carolyn!

  23. Beautiful article. Thanks for sharing, Carolyn. I love what you wrote: “Believe me. Believe in yourself. You’re worth it.” 🙂

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