You make my world complete.

loveisallaroundusIs your life complete? Or do you feel like something or someone is missing?

The perception that somehow your world would be complete if only you had a different job, home or partner can leave you frustrated and disenchanted. And whilst it’s good to want the best for yourself, it’s still important to have peace of mind in the moment. Striving towards a better tomorrow is easier if you appreciate what you have today.

For me, contentment has little to do with what I have, it’s rather who I have around me that makes it meaningful. But I had to learn that before I could love others and enjoy their part in my life, I had to learn to love myself.  I spent too much time trying to replace the love I should have had from my mother and father. Yet the painful void left by years of abandonment and abuse were never going to be eased by anyone or anything. The search for wholeness was never going to be successful because I was missing that which could only be found within me.

I lacked so much. Self-respect, dignity, and self-esteem were all things that I had to nurture from nothing. I went through the motions of an existence but without hope and love, it was futile. Not surprising then that depression and alcoholism took me to a complete physical and mental breakdown.

At my lowest point I could never have contemplated being whole. I was emotionally shattered. But when brokenness is all that you have, there’s little choice but to pick up the pieces and start again.

“Individuality is only possible if it unfolds from wholeness.” ~ David Bohm

Reclaiming my faith helped me on the journey to mending my mind, body and soul. Little by little I overcame those things that had caused me to fall apart. I allowed myself to be pieced together with the love and hope that I had been searching for, and with it came the restoration of my inner-self.

Eventually I came to a place previously never dreamt of. I came to a place of self-acceptance. Recovery showed me that I could live my life as the person as I was meant to be. And that was enough. I was complete by just being ‘me’.

“Don’t spend your life with someone you can live with – spend it with someone you can’t live without.” Anon

Like many things in life, when you stop searching for them they come to you anyway. Only when I was happy being single was I ready to meet the man who was to become my husband. And obviously when we became a couple, my sense of completeness changed. I experienced a love, trust and sense of security that  didn’t stifle it or overwhelm. It simply added to my being.

Similarly, it was only after accepting I may never have children and finding fulfillment within my marriage, that I was blessed with two daughters. And they too made my world whole in a way that I could never even begin to quantify. All I know is that my days are infinately richer for having them in it. And when I put them to bed at night and whisper ‘You make my life complete‘, I mean it with all my heart.

“For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” ~ Matthew 6:21

IloveyouEveryone has their own uniqueness and therefore their own idea of what makes them whole. What’s important for me may not be special to you. It’s only by living and loving yourself and your own journey will you find out. And when you do, my advice is to cherish it  and nurture it.

Because nothing beats the feeling of a world that is complete.

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Images thanks to the brilliant Lori Portka http://www.etsy.com/shop/loriportka

65 thoughts on “You make my world complete.

  1. I love this post Carolyn! One of my favorite affirmations I learned from Louise Hay is “I am at peace in this moment.” If I use that once in a day, I’d venture to say I use it 100 times. 🙂

  2. You write such amazingly powerful posts, Carolyn – this is another! I especially loved this line, “It’s only by living and loving yourself and your own journey will you find out.” I certainly found that true for me, as well. It took many years and therapy and 12-step programs and research and a whole lot of trial and error to finally reach my “true” self. When I started the journey some 10 years agao, I’d been so crippled by the fallout that occurs with long-term exposure/immersion in the family disease of alcoholism that I had no sense of self, of where I left off and another person began. But the work was (and continues to be) worth the effort for my life now is one that is beyond my wildest dreams.

  3. Loved this post, Carolyn. Especially the line, ” Recovery showed me that I could live my life as the person as I was meant to be. And that was enough. I was complete by just being ‘me’.” Believing that you are enough is such a powerful place to be. Thanks so much!

  4. This quote, “Don’t spend your life with someone you can live with – spend it with someone you can’t live without.” Anon and Jesus… Wow! What an amazingly heart-felt passage and good for you. I love everything you wrote here. Thank you for sharing.

  5. So eloquently written and so openly shared. You’re right accepting, acknowledging, BEING where you are now can be such a challenge AND I believe it is the next step in reveling in the Amazingness that is each one of us. Thank you for your courage to share.

  6. It is interesting to notice the times when we feel whole and settled in ourselves. For me, these times come mostly in the simple moments with family. Greater disturbances come when I chance professional goals thinking they will bring a sense of satisfaction and completion.

  7. Carolyn, my dear, isn’t it amazing how so much came to you out of being self accepting? You are such an inspiration to all of us…you have overcome so much…and are a shining light. You are a definite treasure. Beautiful, inspiring and teaching post….loved it!

  8. I really love that saying – “Don’t spend your life with someone you can live with – spend it with someone you can’t live without.” Anon – I struggle with this daily right now!!!

  9. Excellent post Carolyn! It’s so true that powerful healing takes place when there can be self acceptance. By releasing resistance to what is and accepting where we are and what we are – it’s breath-taking how things can shift.

  10. I love this post, Carolyn, especially this line – “But when brokenness is all that you have, there’s little choice but to pick up the pieces and start again.” It is so inspirational to know that if you can put your life back together, there is hope for us all. Take care!

  11. That is great wisdom you have learned. A great lesson to remember whilst things aren’t as we expected them to be, that we are on a path and things will get where they need to be. If you had gone straight from non-loving parents to a marriage and children, you probably wouldn’t have gained all this insight and would be wondering why you weren’t complete.

  12. “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” ~ Matthew 6:21 I love that. It was part of a passage we had read at our wedding, part of my story of leaving my Wall St. career to seek a different kind of Treasure. Like you, once I decided I was OK with being single, God sent me someone amazing to help me on my journey to wholeness. This was a beautiful post.

  13. I adore & appreciate your insight, Carolyn.

    your positive energy overflows all over the place.

    For me, complete “wholeness” will only be possible when I am with Kay again…

    In the meantime, I embrace what is left.

    There is much love….& I embrace a great God.

    xxxx thank you for your beautiful words.

  14. Exquisite post. It’s taken me 30+ years to understand I don’t have to physically move locations (baggage goes with me) when I can learn to find peace and joy in my present location (the 65 move).

  15. Once again a heartfelt and lovely read. I identified so very much with what you wrote, about nurturing from nothing, from not being able to love and enjoy other people’s parts in our lives without self-love and acceptance. It’s no accident that faith preceded that restoration of self and finally self-acceptance. I too have gone through this, and have recently reclaimed larger parts of myself through self-forgiveness and exploring what truly completes me. I am not fully there, but I feel that there are some great shifts happening, and it all comes down to trust, listening to myself and having that faith that what I get from the universe is what I need, not necessarily what I want.

    Thanks again for sharing as you do so well. 🙂

    • Thank you for sharing your own experience here. It is lovely to read of you own shifts in self-acceptance. And you make such a good point that what you need is not necessarily what you want. But faith reassures us that we will have everything we need at the right time. 🙂

  16. Thank you for this very personal and moving post, Carolyn. I might borrow your goodnight phrase to use on my sons. Our lives are complete in the moment if we can just recognize it. Thanks for reminding us. {{{Hugs}}} Kozo

  17. Lovely post and also its touched me. I respect you for becoming the person after going through all of this. May you always find wholeness in your life.
    I want to specify a line “when you stop searching for them they come to you anyway”
    & the most true one is “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”
    May god bless you & your dear one 🙂

  18. That does seem like the most difficult task we’re assigned in this life — to accept everything as it is, in this moment, and to see that this acceptance is actually the key to getting what we want, as opposed to turning away from this moment and demanding something more or different.

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