A Healing Heart

When life lets you down, it can feel like your heart has been ripped out. Experiencing abuse, the death of loved one or an unwanted separation can leave you wondering if you will ever be whole again. Shattered dreams can crush your spirit and cause heartbreak so strong that you are convinced you could die from it.

You may never replace the loss of a childhood or a relationship. You may have to find some new dreams. But one thing is for certain, and that is unless you allow your heart to heal you will never be far from grief and fear.

There was a point in my life that I felt I had been so hurt by others that I couldn’t envisage trusting, let alone loving, ever again. But living in this state of brokenness was like being in an emotional prison. I was resigning myself to a life sentence of nursing old wounds.

The trepidation of attachment made me put up the barriers of mistrust and hostility. I alternated from thinking, ‘I’m never going to let anyone near me’, to ‘I’m going to hurt them, before they hurt me’. Relentless self-pity kept me trapped in a vicious cycle of hopelessness.

“Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I’ll rise.” ~ Maya Angelou

My turning point was the realisation that life goes on. I could choose to stay with the pain of the past or rise above it. There were days when I thought my tears would never stop and the heartache would never ease. But it was only through experiencing my vulnerability that I could be emotionally restored.

Over time faith filled me with the promise that I could be freed from the captivity of my mind and gave me hope of a loving future. It gave me the courage to take the risk that the unthinkable would happen – that I would be hurt again.

Of course I have been hurt many times since, but the scars of my heart are reminders of its strength. My healing heart means I can get up when I fall. I can smile after the tears. And I can look to the future because of my past not despite of it.

As long as I have a heart I can heal. And as long as I can heal I have a heart.
What does a healing heart mean to you?

Top image thanks to JCSpock http://www.etsy.com/listing/59126689/mixed-media-art-rising-heart-5×7-print
Bottom image thanks to Amanda Cass http://www.redbubble.com/people/theartoflove/works/8989590-making-a-fresh-start?c=27861-art-from-the-heart

41 thoughts on “A Healing Heart

  1. Pingback: Love you forever. | The Hurt Healer

  2. I couldn’t agree more! 🙂 Another beautiful and inspiring post, Thank You Carolyn. I used to think that holding on to the anger of what has been done to me in my life, was what would give me the strength I needed to deal with it and move on. I have realised, like You have, that letting go, forgiving and allowing Your heart to heal, is what gives You true strength, and I wouldn’t have been able to do that without faith, or without the daily inspiration I get from people like You. x

  3. Carolyn- You continue to inspire with your personal story. I – and I think most of your readers – can identify with the term ‘healing heart’. I see myself as continually healing my heart. There are still scars and closed doors that I don’t even know about. But I am on the journey of feeling, opening to the possibility, and healing. Faith and forgiveness are 2 huge factors in the process.

    • Thank you for your comments Fran. The scars and closed doors may always be there, but holding onto faith and forgiveness will I believe help the healing. They are 2 huge factors in my life too. 🙂

  4. “faith filled me with the promise that I could be freed from the captivity of my mind and gave me hope of a loving future.” -Perfect 😉 You share so well what it is like to go through pain & how to be redeemed through it. Keep on sharing! You have a very sweet spirit.

  5. Oh my gosh, Carolyn – this is beautiful. This line, “unless you allow your heart to heal you will never be far from grief and fear,” is so very true (or at least it was for me.) And your closing line, “As long as I have a heart I can heal. And as long as I can heal I have a heart,” is so profound.

  6. Excellent post Carolyn! To me – a healing heart means one that, although hurt, is willing to stay open to possibility and nurturing. I’ve experienced deep hurt in the past and am grateful to say that although I have memory of the hurt – it does not restrict me in any way now.

  7. Powerful statement: “There were days when I thought my tears would never stop and the heartache would never ease. But it was only through experiencing my vulnerability that I could be emotionally restored.” So very true!

    I also like what Sharon wrote above, about having to take a hiatus… the most accelerated time of healing, for me, was when I took time aside from everything else, a time of quiet and solitude, and just allowed myself to face the real me, along with all the pain.

    Looking back, I believe it saved my life. Other people are noticing the “true me” now and it’s allowed me to empathize with broken people to a much deeper extent. More than anything, I appreciate life so much more. I’m grateful God gave us hearts, for out of our hearts flow the source of life. What a treasure is ours to guard, protect, and nurture!

    I always love reading your article, Carolyn… thank you for sharing your own vulnerability and transparency! Your heart’s voice is beautiful!

    • Thank you for sharing your thoughts here Susan. You have been in that place of brokenness but your healing is your testimony. I love your statement ‘out of our hearts flow the source of life’ – beautiful!

  8. “You may have to find some new dreams”…this point is so true…for most of us, the loss of a dream can be very painful because we build up a story around that dream…and what life would be like it we had it. Creating new dreams and looking forward to them is a great strategy. Loved the post!

  9. My heart is still mending. It has been four months now that I separated from my husband and his family and friends are praying that I go back a third time. I think we were both dependent on each other for things and I still worry about his feelings instead of myself and my hurting heart. I have forgiven him but I have scars and some resentment. I could not love him as a husband and in the way any person would deserve to be loved in a marriage. I wish he could let go of me. My stomach is in jumbles now because our court date is nearing and I worry about hurting him! Why can’t I just think of myself now. My kids are grown, graduated from college and two daughters married. I do feel lonely at times but not enough to go back to an abusive marriage. Of course he is saying things will be different now that the kids are gone and our finances will be better. I have heard promises like this before. I know I will have a place in my heart for him but I have to follow a new path of non-abuse and self love. This site has helped me to heal and thanks again Carolyn. Any encouraging words would be welcome from kind and caring people here. Thank you.

    • Thank you for sharing such a personal story Marilyn. I’m sure others will read it and be able to relate. You have been through so much but shown such great strength. You deserve to be free from abuse. You don’t need a court date to free yourself and you don’t need to wait for him to let you go. You can choose to free your heart and mind right now. Abuse has stolen so much from you, yet you are still worrying about hurting someone who has left you scarred. Is the place in your heart for the man he should or could have been? Keep journeying on your new path of non-abuse and self love for you will meet many who respect you, accept you and love you for the beautiful being you are.

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